i feel so... ugh... today

yuck.
we're all girls here, right?
i started my period today. that makes me feel ugly. i don't like it. anyways, i'm going to blame this weight on this weekend's meals combined with bloating of my period. thanks, nature.

but i'm not just going to sit here and feel ugly and icky. i'm going to do something about it.

i can say all i want that i'll start going to the gym "soon". everyone can say that.
i'm starting to go to the gym this wednesday morning.

i remember how happy i was when i was going to the gym on a regular basis. so starting wednesday, i'm back in the gym! i'm shooting for three days a week.
keep me accountable.

Sugar Fast Check-In

As I sit here, drinking a Diet Dr. Pepper and eating a Twix (no, those don't cancel each other out, unfortunately), I feel like a failure. But it's Friday. And I did good all week. Well, up until last night when I had four Chips Ahoy. I successfully avoided sugary substances other than a little vanilla creamer in my coffee or low-sugar jelly on my PBJ sammich (well, and a little Sunny-D and if we're being honest, I forgot I had Toaster Strudels for b-fast yesterday. I suck.) until last night before supper. And honestly? I didn't even really crave it. It also helped that I didn't have any change for the vending machine at work, so I wasn't tempted by all the chocolately goodness.

Yesterday, I had a moment of weakness with the cookies. But, Nabisco or whoever makes Chips Ahoy, is slacking on their cookie making because those things are a lot smaller than they used to be. Charging the same price while giving the consumer less. I guess in a way that's really GOOD for me, but I was sort of irked. Oh, well. I didn't need them anyway.

So, what have I been eating to replace my "desserts"? Yoplait yogurt. There are tons of fun flavors like Key Lime Pie, Orange Creamsicle, and Strawberry Shortcake. Whenever I have a sweet craving, I eat one of those and it staves off the sugar shakes.

I have a feeling this will get easier. I know it will. I've done it before, but it just takes some time. I know I'll pull through and will soon not have the OH-MY-LORD-I-NEED-CHOCOLATE-NOW tantrums. And that's good for everyone. :)

i see it now!

it's easy to hear people say you look good. or they can tell you've lost weight. maybe your clothes fit better than they have before, or, like me, you've dropped a size. but i have this image of myself. i still see myself as my heaviest, from over a year ago. i have no idea why chris is attracted to me. i see my sagging skin (albeit, it's that way from weight loss, but still), and i feel so ugly sometimes.

then, i go get my name changed (which, for some reason, makes me feel prettier anyway), and get a new license in the process.

they took a new picture.

(before on the right, after on the left. sorry for the quality, but it's on my phone. and i zoomed in so you couldn't see my address, etc. you understand.)

now, even i can tell. and it makes me so happy. so happy, that i have a new little burst of motivation for continued weight loss.

yay for little moments.

Sugar Mama

Hello, my name is Leann and I'm a sugar addict. I haven't always been this way, but marrying a sweet-tooth will do that to you. Growing up, my family hardly ever had dessert. Sure, my mom baked cakes or cookies on weekends but we never had "nightly" dessert like my husband's family. Well, they don't always have it nightly, but there's always something sweet like Oreos or pie or pound cake or ice cream. So, we always have sugary snacks at my house, else Husband's head explode. This got worse when I was pregnant and wanted ice cream or Reese's cups after every meal.

It's time to detox.

I think I've mentioned before, but the only time I've ever lost weight is when I've drastically cut my sugar intake. The initial process is difficult. There's nothing like a bad Butterfinger craving mid-afternoon and all you have are carrot sticks. But, sticking it out does end up paying off and then the foaming-at-the-mouth cravings die down. Then, you start having fun getting creative with replacement foods. Like having a sweet potato with a meal or eating very, very, very dark chocolate or making "tortilla" chips out of whole wheat tortillas (you brush them with olive oil and bake them in the oven). You can even have a bit of red wine since it's so dry.

So, this is my official notice that I am cutting back. I won't say I'm going cold turkey right now because I have a tendency to be all gung-ho and then fail miserably. I will gently ease into this thing. Yes. We're already eating more whole grain due to Husband's need for more fiber.

I shall also add some gym workouts, since I'm still hanging on to this 15 pounds of baby weight and it's too stinking hot to take the baby for walks.

Love me through it?

A revelation...

I'm not sure if anyone has talked about this yet, if so, sorry for repeating. But I realized something this week.

I look awesome naked.

Yes, you heard right. I love the way I look without clothes on when I get out of the shower. That doesn't mean that I want to walk around naked all the time or that I'm narcissistic or that I don't need to lose weight.

I would die of embarrassment naked in public, am highly self-conscious, and *do* need to lose weight to be healthy. But, the clothes we wear probably do a lot for our self-esteem.

You know what I'm talking about, right? We all have that favorite pair of jeans. Why is it our favorite? Most likely it's because it fits us well, makes our butt look awesome, hides that muffin top, etc., right?

Why don't we all own a whole closet of clothes that look good and make us feel good?

I don't know. But I examined this. Why do I own 2+ pairs of jeans that I feel make me look fat? Well, I remember on 2 of those pairs. It's because they were cheap. I bought those 2 pairs at Old Navy on clearance for under $15. Not each, but total. Do I ever wear them? Nope. (That's not true, they fit better right after the wedding than they do in the months following... I got excited about food again after the wedding. I think I was *really* watching what I was eating, even if it was subconscious.)

And buying clothes because "maybe" you'll fit into them in a month or after you lose 10 pounds? Also, something I'm guilty of. If I hadn't bought that shirt that I liked, but didn't fit well, I would have had money for that shirt that I LOVED when I found it 2 weeks later.

So, my goal for this week? Take everything out of my closet that doesn't look "good" on me. I realize I may be down to 2 pairs of jeans and 5 shirts (kidding!), but there will be less clutter, more simple, and another box in storage. In about 3-4 months, I'll pull that box out and see if I feel any differently about any of those clothes I "like" but never wear because they don't look good. If I feel the same about them, I'll send them on to Goodwill.

Second goal? Quit buying stuff that doesn't look good and/or make me feel good!

Also, update: I've worked out 3 times in the last 2 weeks. I know, I know! Not good. But two of those times were in the last 48 hours. That's not bad, is it? ;-)

posole- it's healthy!

i got a recipe for posole from gerri after she shared hers with me last week. if i would have died after tasting the delicious yumminess that was this bowl of posole, i would have died happy.
(slight exaggeration. i'm a newlywed. i don't want to die after eating posole.)

posole can be made green. or red. with chicken. or pork. the details are up to you.
i edited gerri's recipe a little, so will share with you my version. i really only changed amounts of the ingredients.

POSOLE
1 large onion
4 cloves garlic, minced
salt
pepper
8 cups (two containers) chicken stock. or broth. whichever.
2 cans green chili, chopped or diced
2 cups tomatillo sauce
italian seasoning
bay leaf
1 large and 1 small can white hominy
3 chicken breasts, boneless, skinless, sliced in half longways.
garnish

in stock pot, sautee onion and garlic with a little olive oil until soft, about 15 minutes, with a little salt and pepper. add the chicken broth, chili, tomatillo sauce, and seasonings, then simmer for about an hour. or an hour and a half. whatever. take the chicken that has been sliced in half, and season it with cumin, salt, and pepper about 15 minutes before adding to the stock. then add the hominy (drained) and the chicken. poach the chicken in the stock for about 25 minutes. or 35 if you forget about it. take the chicken out and shred it with your fingers or with two forks, then add it back to the pot. warm it all up, and serve.
garnish with chopped cabbage. other garnishes are: chopped turnips, avocado, sour cream, or whatever you want. serve with a flour tortilla.

it is sooo good.

Kraft Recipes

I've been a member of Kraft Foods' website for awhile now and recently realized that they have healthy recipes. Not only do they have healthy recipes, but they have a section of budget-friendly recipes that are also healthy! Can't beat that. You can search to find the recipes you like and add them to your "recipe box." It will also add the ingredients to a shopping list for you. I think I'm going to start utilizing this tool more often, now that I'm back at work and having to deal with a 3-month-old who goes to physical therapy twice a week. This will help me to save time while also providing much-needed healthy, inexpensive ingredients.

Here are just a few recipes I found that sound tasty:

Better-Than-Ever Beef Enchiladas - Enchiladas? Sign me up. 340 calories / 11 grams of fat per serving.

Chicken, Cheese, and Spinach Manicotti - I go nuts for any kind of pasta. 370 calories / 9 grams of fat per serving.

Layered Summer Salad - I love making things like this in the summer. Anything to not have to use my oven in this Arkansas heat. 180 calories / 14 grams of fat per serving.

Quick Chicken-Parmesan Pasta - Again, I love pasta. And this is nice because it uses pre-cooked grilled chicken. 330 calories / 12 grams of fat per serving.

Working on this

One habit at a time. This is my goal. I want to work on one habit at a time. But it's hard. I'm so excited. Recently, hubby and I moved into a new apartment which includes a gym membership. The best part about the gym? It's in building, right down the hall. How many times have I been there? Twice. Once to walk on an elliptical for about 30 seconds when hubby and I checked it out after moving in and once when we got a tour of the building before we signed a lease. Problem? I think so.

So, I guess adding work out time isn't as much of a habit as it as a completely new behavior. The habit I want to work on is buying frozen, pre-made breakfast items. I checked the health content of a Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl and about fell over. It's crazy how must sodium AND calories are in one of those things. They aren't filling and at over 500 calories, I expect to be full for awhile. So, I'm working on making things that will keep and are easy for mornings when I don't want to make breakfast or get sick of cold cereal.

While brainstorming of ideas, I remembered my Mom eating these little egg "quiches" while on the South Beach diet. She was kind enough to share the recipe with me. I remember them being pretty good! :-)

Vegetable Quiche Cups to Go!

1 package (10 oz) frozen spinach

3/4 cup liquid egg substitute

3/4 cup shredded reduced-fat cheese

1/4 cup diced green bell peppers

1/4 cup diced onions

3 drops hot-pepper sauce (optional)

Microwave spinach for 2 1/2 minutes on high. Drain the excess liquid.

Line a 12-cup muffin pan with foil baking cups. Spray the cups with cooking spray.

Combine the egg substitute, cheese, peppers, onions, and spinach in a bowl. Mix well. Divide evenly among the muffin cups. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes, until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

Quiche cups can be frozen and reheated in the microwave. Any combination of appropriate vegetables and reduced-fat cheeses may be used.

6 (2 mini-quiche) servings. 73 calories, Total Fat: 2.5 grams, Cholesterol: 4 mg, Sodium: 195 mg
(For detailed nutrition information, check here)

(This post was finished, I just forgot to schedule it... Sorry!)

my lame post

i am not posting much this week-- because i'm busy getting ready for my saturday wedding :-)

i really wish i'd dieted more, just to make me feel better before the wedding; but i DID order off the "guiltless grill" menu at chili's on saturday! that's something, right? ha.

budget tips for healthy eating

Here's some tips i've learned and formed on how to eat healthy on a budget. these tips work for me, and might not be great for you. but hey, it's somewhere to start, yeah?

1. Don't eat out. You often don't know what's in the dish you're ordering, how it was prepared, etc. and it costs a whole lot more! i can eat lunch out for $7 or more, or i can buy items to prepare lunch for the whole week for about the same cost-- bread, lunchmeat, fruit, and yogurt or pudding.
2. Buy in season. Spring? buy asparagus, cabbage, tomato. Fall? buy squash, melons, corn. not only is the food tastier, it's also cheaper and has more nutrients. want fresh fruits and veggies throughout the year? look into preservation methods. last week, i bought 10 ears of corn for $1, then prepped and froze them. berries freeze well as-is.
3. Don't buy the leanest meats. the fat that's on them can often be easily cut off (steaks) or poured off after cooking (ground meats). the fat that's included increases the flavor of the meat so you're not over-seasoning (aka adding tons of sodium!)-- and contrary to popular belief, fat doesn't make you fat. too many calories make you fat. read more here.
4. buy canned tuna! it's often on sale, and goes great on sandwiches, salads, or just as a snack with triscuits. but make sure you buy the tuna packed in water, not packed in oil.
5. Bring your lunch to work-- this one ties into #1.
6. Make your own "convenient foods"-- granola, breakfast bars, fruit spreads. You control what's in it so there's often not extra sugar and sodium added, and you know that you're making it with fresh ingredients. it takes extra effort, so it depends on how expensive your time is, but as with my granola, i baked it while doing other chores around the house. just search online for recipes for items you think you could make yourself.
7. drink water. lots of water. sometimes when you think you're hungry, you're really just thirsty. so there's the diet tip. the cost tip? drink tap water. it's actually better for you than bottled water.
8. Don't waste your money on organic fruits/veggies. i can see buying organic meats for the lack of growth hormones, but organic fruits and veggies aren't regulated as much by the USDA. if you have the money to spend, by all means, buy organic if you want-- but this post is about eating healthy on the cheap, and if it comes down to buying organic or buying nothing, buy the non-organic to save money.
9. make plans to use your leftovers. one of my favorite meals is to bake a whole chicken, surrounded by potatoes, onions, and carrots. then i pick apart the leftover chicken (okay, i beg chris to do that, cause i hate to get my hands dirty) and use that for chicken salad sandwiches for a few days. think ahead.
10. eat vegetarian. not all the time, but if you try to make two or three meals a week meatless, you'll see how much you save. a good portion of my grocery budget goes to chicken, pork, etc-- and when i cut that out and instead use a filling veggie like squash, mushroom, eggplant, i save money and end up getting more vitamins and minerals.
11. eat less. seriously. ever cook a hamburger helper? those meals are supposed to have 5 servings. i usually make it maybe 3 servings. that means i'm filling up on too much of the bad stuff, and not enough of the salad and veggie sides. also, just in general, eat less! how many times in a given week do you finish a meal and feel "stuffed" rather than "satisfied"? i know i do more often than i'd like to admit. so if i don't eat as much, two things-- i have more leftovers for the next meal, and i don't have to prepare so much in the first place.

there you have it. i hope some of these suggestions are helpful. they're things that i try to follow often, as i try to make healthy meals on a budget.
enjoy!!

Eating Right as a Family

Well, my quest to eat healthy is now a family effort "hooray" for not having to do it alone! But "boo" for the reasons why). My husband has Barrett's Esophagus. It ain't pretty. Basically, his food comes back up into his esophagus after eating. He takes medicine but it doesn't always work. He also has some other digestive issues so his doctor suggested we start cutting the fat from our diet as well as Cokes and coffee (he said he's NOT cutting coffee but will cut down on sodas). So, this means we need to eat more fruits and veggies for the fiber and very lean cuts of meat, such as fish and chicken and the leanest beef we can find. This is exactly what I've been wanting to do, but sadly, our Walmart's produce is bunk. And for the price we have to pay for fresh produce, I better get some mad fresh stuff. So, I think we're going to have to go out of town to Kroger for our groceries from now on. They have a great selection of produce and it's WAY fresher than Walmart's.

Anyway, I'm interested in what Erin plans on blogging about on Monday--cost-friendly ways to eat healthy. If anyone else has any suggestions, I'm all ears. We live in a pretty rural area so we don't have convenient access to farmer's markets. There's a guy who sells produce out of the back of his truck on the town square, but I never know when he's going to be there. I'd love to get some fresh squash, cucumbers, zuccini, tomatoes, etc. We do have a place called Uncle Henry's that sells some produce (along with BBQ and hams, yum!) so I need to check them out. If they aren't too expensive, I'll start getting our stuff from there.

Hopefully, all this eating right will teach my son good habits. We grew up in the candybar and Coke generation and I just can't stand the thought of him sitting around, watching TV, eating junk food. My parents were good about not keeping sodas around and we had no candy in the house; we did have Little Debbie snacks for our school lunches and my mom baked a lot of cakes and cookies, but we never had to have dessert with dinner. If he can enjoy fruits, that will be a great "dessert."

you take the good with the bad

the good: i got a hekuva workout this weekend, moving in the 105 degree texas summer.
the bad: i rewarded myself with pizza, soda, chips, and salsa.

the good: i was down to 198.0 last week.
the bad: i'm back up to 199.6 this week.
the good: i'm holding pretty steady for the wedding.

the good: my mom said that i looked skinny in some photos i sent her this weekend.
the bad: my weight's not changing. how does this happen?

the good: i'm close to work and can cook healthy dinners more often since i'll be home earlier.
the bad: i'm still sorta low on cash til after the wedding. there's so much stuff to buy for that.
the good: i'm getting creative on how to still make healthy dishes with a smaller budget.

holding steady

so, the good news is that I'm staying under 200 still. actually, in the past two weeks, i've lost 2.2 lbs (thanks to loseit! because i always forget my previous weights). that's good. well, that's something. i'm trying to stay pretty stable because of the wedding and i'd hate to get the dress fitted again in the next three weeks. speaking of the dress, it'll be here on wednesday. so expect a "real" wedding dress fitting update next week.

so as much as i need to stay stable, i really want to lose more weight. i'm definitely becoming much more comfortable with my body, and i've gone down a pants size (although i don't know how much i "dropped a size" as wasn't ever wearing the correct size to begin with)-- but i want more. greedy, greedy, greedy.

in all honesty, i think it'll be easier to lose weight when i'm married. i will have more time to prepare dinner and make healthy lunches for the next day, because my commute will be cut down from over an hour, to about 10 minutes. i may be home in time to relax before i even think about dinner! and i've already warned chris that there will be very few junk food items in the house. my problem with junk food is that if it's in the house, i'll eat it. all of it. usually in one sitting. he seems ok with it. we'll see how that works out.

BUT-- i have had a dark chocolate mint truffle sitting in my desk drawer for almost a week now. it's there as my emergency stash- when i'm having a HUGE craving for chocolate. i've almost broken into it a few times, but asked myself if i REALLY needed to have it-- and i didn't.

Rewards

So, on my walk in to the office today, I decided that WHEN I lose the last 15 pounds of baby weight, I will drive myself and the baby down to Dallas for a nice visit with Erin. We will go shopping for clothes and have a great time. I need a goal other than just "losing the weight" because although that in and of itself is quite rewarding, I need something a little more motivating. And what better motivation that a trip to see my BFF? I know it may take awhile to lose the weight, even though it's only 15 pounds, but I'd rather lose is slowly and healthily and keep it off than to crash diet and lose it but have it come back soon after.

I started working out last week, but I only made it one day to the gym before getting sick with bronchitis. I need to get back to it, but I'm having a hard time this week. I'm feeling sorry for myself for having to go back to work while my husband "gets" to stay home with the baby (although, he'd gladly trade places with me if it were possible). I can do nothing to change this (I don't have the option of staying home like some women do--I'm the breadwinner at the moment) but it doesn't make it any easier. I figure if I can start exercising, I'll feel a bit better about myself. I'll have more energy and my mood will be lifted. Plus, I'll just generally feel better.

I look forward to looking and feeling better, not to mention going to see my girl!