i feel so... ugh... today

yuck.
we're all girls here, right?
i started my period today. that makes me feel ugly. i don't like it. anyways, i'm going to blame this weight on this weekend's meals combined with bloating of my period. thanks, nature.

but i'm not just going to sit here and feel ugly and icky. i'm going to do something about it.

i can say all i want that i'll start going to the gym "soon". everyone can say that.
i'm starting to go to the gym this wednesday morning.

i remember how happy i was when i was going to the gym on a regular basis. so starting wednesday, i'm back in the gym! i'm shooting for three days a week.
keep me accountable.

Sugar Fast Check-In

As I sit here, drinking a Diet Dr. Pepper and eating a Twix (no, those don't cancel each other out, unfortunately), I feel like a failure. But it's Friday. And I did good all week. Well, up until last night when I had four Chips Ahoy. I successfully avoided sugary substances other than a little vanilla creamer in my coffee or low-sugar jelly on my PBJ sammich (well, and a little Sunny-D and if we're being honest, I forgot I had Toaster Strudels for b-fast yesterday. I suck.) until last night before supper. And honestly? I didn't even really crave it. It also helped that I didn't have any change for the vending machine at work, so I wasn't tempted by all the chocolately goodness.

Yesterday, I had a moment of weakness with the cookies. But, Nabisco or whoever makes Chips Ahoy, is slacking on their cookie making because those things are a lot smaller than they used to be. Charging the same price while giving the consumer less. I guess in a way that's really GOOD for me, but I was sort of irked. Oh, well. I didn't need them anyway.

So, what have I been eating to replace my "desserts"? Yoplait yogurt. There are tons of fun flavors like Key Lime Pie, Orange Creamsicle, and Strawberry Shortcake. Whenever I have a sweet craving, I eat one of those and it staves off the sugar shakes.

I have a feeling this will get easier. I know it will. I've done it before, but it just takes some time. I know I'll pull through and will soon not have the OH-MY-LORD-I-NEED-CHOCOLATE-NOW tantrums. And that's good for everyone. :)

i see it now!

it's easy to hear people say you look good. or they can tell you've lost weight. maybe your clothes fit better than they have before, or, like me, you've dropped a size. but i have this image of myself. i still see myself as my heaviest, from over a year ago. i have no idea why chris is attracted to me. i see my sagging skin (albeit, it's that way from weight loss, but still), and i feel so ugly sometimes.

then, i go get my name changed (which, for some reason, makes me feel prettier anyway), and get a new license in the process.

they took a new picture.

(before on the right, after on the left. sorry for the quality, but it's on my phone. and i zoomed in so you couldn't see my address, etc. you understand.)

now, even i can tell. and it makes me so happy. so happy, that i have a new little burst of motivation for continued weight loss.

yay for little moments.

Sugar Mama

Hello, my name is Leann and I'm a sugar addict. I haven't always been this way, but marrying a sweet-tooth will do that to you. Growing up, my family hardly ever had dessert. Sure, my mom baked cakes or cookies on weekends but we never had "nightly" dessert like my husband's family. Well, they don't always have it nightly, but there's always something sweet like Oreos or pie or pound cake or ice cream. So, we always have sugary snacks at my house, else Husband's head explode. This got worse when I was pregnant and wanted ice cream or Reese's cups after every meal.

It's time to detox.

I think I've mentioned before, but the only time I've ever lost weight is when I've drastically cut my sugar intake. The initial process is difficult. There's nothing like a bad Butterfinger craving mid-afternoon and all you have are carrot sticks. But, sticking it out does end up paying off and then the foaming-at-the-mouth cravings die down. Then, you start having fun getting creative with replacement foods. Like having a sweet potato with a meal or eating very, very, very dark chocolate or making "tortilla" chips out of whole wheat tortillas (you brush them with olive oil and bake them in the oven). You can even have a bit of red wine since it's so dry.

So, this is my official notice that I am cutting back. I won't say I'm going cold turkey right now because I have a tendency to be all gung-ho and then fail miserably. I will gently ease into this thing. Yes. We're already eating more whole grain due to Husband's need for more fiber.

I shall also add some gym workouts, since I'm still hanging on to this 15 pounds of baby weight and it's too stinking hot to take the baby for walks.

Love me through it?

A revelation...

I'm not sure if anyone has talked about this yet, if so, sorry for repeating. But I realized something this week.

I look awesome naked.

Yes, you heard right. I love the way I look without clothes on when I get out of the shower. That doesn't mean that I want to walk around naked all the time or that I'm narcissistic or that I don't need to lose weight.

I would die of embarrassment naked in public, am highly self-conscious, and *do* need to lose weight to be healthy. But, the clothes we wear probably do a lot for our self-esteem.

You know what I'm talking about, right? We all have that favorite pair of jeans. Why is it our favorite? Most likely it's because it fits us well, makes our butt look awesome, hides that muffin top, etc., right?

Why don't we all own a whole closet of clothes that look good and make us feel good?

I don't know. But I examined this. Why do I own 2+ pairs of jeans that I feel make me look fat? Well, I remember on 2 of those pairs. It's because they were cheap. I bought those 2 pairs at Old Navy on clearance for under $15. Not each, but total. Do I ever wear them? Nope. (That's not true, they fit better right after the wedding than they do in the months following... I got excited about food again after the wedding. I think I was *really* watching what I was eating, even if it was subconscious.)

And buying clothes because "maybe" you'll fit into them in a month or after you lose 10 pounds? Also, something I'm guilty of. If I hadn't bought that shirt that I liked, but didn't fit well, I would have had money for that shirt that I LOVED when I found it 2 weeks later.

So, my goal for this week? Take everything out of my closet that doesn't look "good" on me. I realize I may be down to 2 pairs of jeans and 5 shirts (kidding!), but there will be less clutter, more simple, and another box in storage. In about 3-4 months, I'll pull that box out and see if I feel any differently about any of those clothes I "like" but never wear because they don't look good. If I feel the same about them, I'll send them on to Goodwill.

Second goal? Quit buying stuff that doesn't look good and/or make me feel good!

Also, update: I've worked out 3 times in the last 2 weeks. I know, I know! Not good. But two of those times were in the last 48 hours. That's not bad, is it? ;-)

posole- it's healthy!

i got a recipe for posole from gerri after she shared hers with me last week. if i would have died after tasting the delicious yumminess that was this bowl of posole, i would have died happy.
(slight exaggeration. i'm a newlywed. i don't want to die after eating posole.)

posole can be made green. or red. with chicken. or pork. the details are up to you.
i edited gerri's recipe a little, so will share with you my version. i really only changed amounts of the ingredients.

POSOLE
1 large onion
4 cloves garlic, minced
salt
pepper
8 cups (two containers) chicken stock. or broth. whichever.
2 cans green chili, chopped or diced
2 cups tomatillo sauce
italian seasoning
bay leaf
1 large and 1 small can white hominy
3 chicken breasts, boneless, skinless, sliced in half longways.
garnish

in stock pot, sautee onion and garlic with a little olive oil until soft, about 15 minutes, with a little salt and pepper. add the chicken broth, chili, tomatillo sauce, and seasonings, then simmer for about an hour. or an hour and a half. whatever. take the chicken that has been sliced in half, and season it with cumin, salt, and pepper about 15 minutes before adding to the stock. then add the hominy (drained) and the chicken. poach the chicken in the stock for about 25 minutes. or 35 if you forget about it. take the chicken out and shred it with your fingers or with two forks, then add it back to the pot. warm it all up, and serve.
garnish with chopped cabbage. other garnishes are: chopped turnips, avocado, sour cream, or whatever you want. serve with a flour tortilla.

it is sooo good.

Kraft Recipes

I've been a member of Kraft Foods' website for awhile now and recently realized that they have healthy recipes. Not only do they have healthy recipes, but they have a section of budget-friendly recipes that are also healthy! Can't beat that. You can search to find the recipes you like and add them to your "recipe box." It will also add the ingredients to a shopping list for you. I think I'm going to start utilizing this tool more often, now that I'm back at work and having to deal with a 3-month-old who goes to physical therapy twice a week. This will help me to save time while also providing much-needed healthy, inexpensive ingredients.

Here are just a few recipes I found that sound tasty:

Better-Than-Ever Beef Enchiladas - Enchiladas? Sign me up. 340 calories / 11 grams of fat per serving.

Chicken, Cheese, and Spinach Manicotti - I go nuts for any kind of pasta. 370 calories / 9 grams of fat per serving.

Layered Summer Salad - I love making things like this in the summer. Anything to not have to use my oven in this Arkansas heat. 180 calories / 14 grams of fat per serving.

Quick Chicken-Parmesan Pasta - Again, I love pasta. And this is nice because it uses pre-cooked grilled chicken. 330 calories / 12 grams of fat per serving.

Working on this

One habit at a time. This is my goal. I want to work on one habit at a time. But it's hard. I'm so excited. Recently, hubby and I moved into a new apartment which includes a gym membership. The best part about the gym? It's in building, right down the hall. How many times have I been there? Twice. Once to walk on an elliptical for about 30 seconds when hubby and I checked it out after moving in and once when we got a tour of the building before we signed a lease. Problem? I think so.

So, I guess adding work out time isn't as much of a habit as it as a completely new behavior. The habit I want to work on is buying frozen, pre-made breakfast items. I checked the health content of a Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl and about fell over. It's crazy how must sodium AND calories are in one of those things. They aren't filling and at over 500 calories, I expect to be full for awhile. So, I'm working on making things that will keep and are easy for mornings when I don't want to make breakfast or get sick of cold cereal.

While brainstorming of ideas, I remembered my Mom eating these little egg "quiches" while on the South Beach diet. She was kind enough to share the recipe with me. I remember them being pretty good! :-)

Vegetable Quiche Cups to Go!

1 package (10 oz) frozen spinach

3/4 cup liquid egg substitute

3/4 cup shredded reduced-fat cheese

1/4 cup diced green bell peppers

1/4 cup diced onions

3 drops hot-pepper sauce (optional)

Microwave spinach for 2 1/2 minutes on high. Drain the excess liquid.

Line a 12-cup muffin pan with foil baking cups. Spray the cups with cooking spray.

Combine the egg substitute, cheese, peppers, onions, and spinach in a bowl. Mix well. Divide evenly among the muffin cups. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes, until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

Quiche cups can be frozen and reheated in the microwave. Any combination of appropriate vegetables and reduced-fat cheeses may be used.

6 (2 mini-quiche) servings. 73 calories, Total Fat: 2.5 grams, Cholesterol: 4 mg, Sodium: 195 mg
(For detailed nutrition information, check here)

(This post was finished, I just forgot to schedule it... Sorry!)

my lame post

i am not posting much this week-- because i'm busy getting ready for my saturday wedding :-)

i really wish i'd dieted more, just to make me feel better before the wedding; but i DID order off the "guiltless grill" menu at chili's on saturday! that's something, right? ha.