Sunday, October 31, 2010

#fatbytwitter

So, obviously from my absence, you can tell that I was REEEAAAALLLLYYY trying to ignore the whole weight gain associated with pregnancy. My head definitely knows that weight gain is essential (and healthy!) when pregnant, but after fighting and fighting to lose 30 lbs right before I got pregnant, it has been a bit of a depressing jaunt to the scale in the morning... and yes... I look at the scale every morning.

In my last pregnancy, I gained 50 lbs... I also gained stretch makes, varicose veins, love handles, and a couple chins I didn't need. Luckily I gained one awesome child, or I wouldn't be looking back on it with much glee. Frankly, I did not want that to happen this time and so far, I'm succeeding. I've gained 13 pounds, and so far, 2lbs and 4oz are baby! Healthy baby :)

With that all being said, I'm not going to lie and say I am eating well... I'm not. I eat terribly for the most part... the only difference is that I force disgusting vegetables in my mouth in between each kitkat :) It's clear that the boy gets his preference for veggies from me.

Also... I don't want to have one of those "baked-goods-free" houses. I like to bake and I like Ky to eat it... I enjoy eating making fresh breads and chocolatey cookies. I guess the key, for me, is moderation... oh, ya, right, and... uh.... exercise.

I intend on getting back into some serious weight loss in a few months... until then I hope to learn the secret of fat-free baking. They have that, right?


Friday, October 29, 2010

Feeling Lumpy

Warning: this will be a "poor-pitiful-me" post. A rant, if-you-will. If you're not into that sort of thing, just ignore me. I apologize. But I'm just not feeling good about myself lately.

Have I worked out at all this week? No. Have I eaten right? Nope. Did I devour the chocolate chip cookies my mom sent home with me on Monday? You betcha. I have had a gnarly sweet-tooth lately (maybe it's due to Halloween or something) and I consumed more Coke in the last few days than I did all last month. I've got to get a grip.

I am meeting my husband's co-workers for the first time this afternoon and I have nothing to wear that I feel "cute" in. My wardrobe consists of sloppy long-sleeved tee shirts and I have two pairs of jeans that fit. One of them isn't the slightest bit comfortable and the zipper is messed up on it. *sigh* All of my cute autumn transition clothes are too small because I can't fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes still. And I only have a few items of clothing I can actually wear because clothes cost money and this year has been...well, despite having a baby and loving being a mom, it's been a really, really hard year on all of us in more areas than one. Sometimes I don't get to eat until after 8:00 p.m., if the baby is having an extra fussy evening. Yesterday, I chowed down on a greasy chicken sandwich and fries from our cafeteria at work. Today, we are having a pizza party.

Must. Get. a. Grip.

I picked out the cutest thing I have, which is a short-sleeved cardigan with a black cami underneath and my "good" pair of jeans and a pair of black boots. Maybe that will do. It's a bit oversized, but at least it will hide my flab. It's in the car and I'll change at my mom's when I go to pick up the boy. I just don't want people thinking my husband is married to a slob. But, tomorrow, I'll probably wear a long-sleeved tee shirt and PJ pants. And Sunday, I'll wear one of the two church outfits I have that fits. Luckily, I don't have to dress up for work. But I feel sloppy and uncomfortable every single day.

Unlike Kyrstin, I don't feel comfortable with my body right now. I am soft and babies love soft. But, I think I'm too soft. My stomach has always been my problem area and now it's even worse. Throw in extra hip and butt fat. MK says that I still look good, but I don't believe him. I don't like who I see in the mirror.

I have to do this for me. I don't want to be one of those women who has "let herself go." True, I had a baby 6 months ago, but I know all kinds of women who look...not as bad as I do...after having a kid.

Not sure what the point of this post was, other than to just vent my feelings. I'm not really adding any nuggets of goodness to the blog today. And for that, I apologize. Maybe I'll feel better next week. And maybe I'll be desperate enough to haul my butt to the gym on Monday. We'll see...

Thursday, October 28, 2010

A small success

So here is an update on my goal. (Remember?)

TRUTH: I still weigh 220 pounds. I have had no fast food since last Thursday. (That's the small success. And it was really difficult. I almost caved today. I did have Qdoba yesterday, but I had rice, beans, veggies, lean protein, and salsa for the sauce-- a bare burrito. It was more healthy that what I would have made myself for lunch. :-\ So maybe I really am cheating. I have no idea. AHHHH.... anyway...) I have however had ice cream. I can't help it. I like it a lot. :-(

Positive I am telling myself: You've really been planning ahead with your lunch/dinner for class. You've even eaten more fruits/veggies. YAY YOU!

*sigh* Losing weight is not easy. (Duh.) Or we wouldn't be writing this blog. But I'm at the point where... yeah, I'm overweight, but I like the way I look. My husband thinks I'm pretty, attractive, and (yes!) sexy. I don't mind the size I am because I look around and see others and think (I know this is bad), "I look better than that."

But do I? Probably not. But I guess it's good I think I look good. Self-confidence is half the battle, I guess. So I want to lose weight so I can be more healthy. For my heart and my future babies. And because I need to lose weight before my future babies so I don't go crazy during every time I gain a pound. (Because I totally will.)

I know some of that seems to not all go together, but that's how I feel. I'm doing the best for what I want to do right now. Yes, I need to eat more healthy. And yes I need to work out. But am I going to feel guilty when I don't? Well, probably yes. But I'm done beating myself up about it. I've done that. In fact, I used to not even post every week because I was ashamed of it. And I still have that goal of getting to 180. It's a magic number in my mind. 180, size 12/14. God. I can't wait. I'm totally buying a bikini.

But what am I *really* going to do to get there? 
.......
.....
....
...
..
.
I have no clue.


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Hello, hello!

hey everyone, it's erin. i'm so happy to announce that we have a new blogger! please tune in every wednesday when scarlett will be writing for us. i don't know about you, but i'm always up for a new point of view-- especially when it has to do with healthy living! scarlett can also be found on her personal blog, over at confessions of a shieldmaiden.
welcome, scarlett!

Hi, everyone! It’s me, the new kid on the block (“Whoa-oh-oh-OH-oh! Hanging tough!!”…) Whew. ::straightens up:: Sorry. Had a little flashback to my childhood there. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Introductions. ::waves:: Hi!

If you’ve hung around me long enough, you probably know my real name. But, my workplace has this finicky thing about social media and identifiable employees, so for the purposes of blogging and many internet activities, I go by Scarlett. I’m 30, live in Seattle (Yes, it rains here, yes, I’m addicted to coffee…), and I’m single with no kids. Well, I have a dog. He weighs more than most kids, (130lbs) so he kind of counts, right? I have half a Master’s degree (working on the other half!), a full-time job doing customer service and human resources for a large outdoor retailer, and a schedule filled with so many things that I barely have time to sleep some days.

I guess you could say that proper fitness has always been an issue for me. My weight’s gone up and down for most of my life. I can lose it when I have to (at various points in my life, I’ve been a competitive swimmer, dancer, and professional actress – all activities which require slim a tone body), but here’s the thing, it’s not in healthy ways. I’ll alternate between being super-obsessed about my weight, and just not caring and living my life. I’ve been in the ‘too busy to care’ phase for quite awhile…and I had a little bit of a wake up call when I went to the doctor for a broken rib and had to step on the scale…213 pounds.

Holy heck.

213!??!?!?!?!?!?!!

When did this happen, and where the heck was I that I didn’t notice? I mean, yeah sure, my clothes have been a bit tight these days, and my shirts have been a little more boob-y than usual but…did I really put on 23 pounds in the past year? I wanted to cry, and not just from the pain ripping through the side of my ribcage.

I know EXACTLY why I’ve gained the weight. I eat like crap, and I eat late at night. I’m just going to be honest, I’m lazy as heck when it comes to cooking at home. I can’t exactly afford the good stuff (too much fun with credit cards in my youth has left me with some serious bill payments), so I buy what I can afford on my grocery trips. I write a weekly food blog, so I buy the good stuff for my recipe, and then buy the average food for the house. I never eat breakfast, unless you count my cup of coffee, my lunches are scarfed down at the greasy-cafĂ© at my work (we’re too far in the suburbs to make it anywhere else in my 30 minute lunch), and when I get home from work at 11 at night, I just don’t have the desire or energy to cook a meal. I’ll drive-thru it, or grab whatever freeze dried concoction has the least amount of freezer burn.

I exercise, but it’s obviously not enough to make up for my meal damage. I go to Zumba twice a week (well, I did before my rib incident. Starting again in November), and I’m a total Zumba addict. Like, I’m the Zumba-girl with the cool Zumba pants, toning sticks, and the gypsy-bell skirt. I love it, and I get a total workout. I’ve also started tracking my daily activity with DS Personal Trainer: Walking, which has a cool little monitor that you wear everday. I’ve also been working on the Shieldmaiden Challenge, just to monitor the amount of activity I do daily. No, I’m not going running everyday, but I’m not just sitting around.

But, I also know the math; if you’re not burning more calories than you’re taking in, you’re not losing weight. When I’m taking in 3,000 calories of junk daily, I’m sort of setting myself up for failure from the start, right?

Okay, so I’ve rambled on about my challenges and made my obligatory excuses. Here are my goals: I would really, really like to fit into an 8/10. I like my curves, I have no ambition nor desire to become a skinny bag of bones. (Okay, maybe I’ve fantasized about having Keira Knightley’s body once or twice. I’m currently a 14/16. Knowing my body, I think that means I have about 35 pounds to lose. But, I want to lose them the right way this time. I know all the sneaky little tricks the entertainment industry uses – I’ve been there and I know they work – but they don’t work forever, and all you wind up with is a messed up metabolism and a breaking-down body. I’m going to focus on food, and figure out ways to make better choices with my meals, even when they’re on the run (which is most of the time). I’m also thinking about going back on South Beach, which I love, actually. The food is pretty good and I have a couple of the cookbooks. (Hey, anyone interested in doing it with me? Teamwork, FTW?) I’m also going to start eating breakfast, which has always been sort of a four letter word for me. I’m just not hungry in the mornings, to be honest, but I’m told it helps kick-start your metabolism for the day so….we’ll see.

Sorry for the super-long-rambly post. If you’re still here and reading, THANK YOU! I’m so happy to get to be a part of  Twitter to Get Fitter, and can’t wait to catch up with all of you lovely ladies on your fitness journeys!

Monday, October 25, 2010

just another manic monday

seriously. my life has been crazy. i know i've mentioned before, but let me stress it again.
i work. full time. as in, 9 hour days because i always take a working lunch.
i have a second job. two nights a week, i teach and have lab at a local college. and i have all of the after hours prep for that, whether it's grading tests or preparing for lecture.
i am finishing my master's degree. this week, for that class, i have to make six discussion posts, do homework questions from the chapter, and write a paper that is anywhere from 5-10 pages.

so. i'm busy. we've established this. but i mentioned before that i was too busy to eat, so i've gotta get healthy! well, that's obviously false. when i weighed in at the hospital today, i was 207.2 lbs. i wanted to cry. that's a gain of 10 lbs since the wedding. i know, i know. you all warned me this would happen. but i was determined it would not happen to me.

it did.

so, this hard evidence (like my tight jeans weren't evidence enough) means it's time to change. when i say i'm too busy to eat, what i obviously mean is that i'm too busy to eat healthy. and it's quite embarrassing to admit this to you all, but i have been eating two dinners on class nights. worst part is that my husband will probably read this, and i just admitted to him that i'm doing what i whine at him about. i grab some junk from the drive through between work and class. then when i get home, i eat a second dinner of whatever husband made. i justify it by saying that they're both small meals, etc... but seriously- with how busy i am, i do not have much time for activity, so i need to rely on a healthy diet right now. and i'm not. that changes immediately.

so. what will i do?
  • veggies with every meal. except breakfast, really.
  • eat three solid meals a day. i can have a mid morning snack and a mid afternoon snack, but these are healthy. like laughing cow cheese with wheat thins, or a small bag of carrots, or apples and peanut butter.
  • walking more often during work. it's really not great that i work 9 hours straight. sure, many of those days i'm up all over four different campuses, but some days i spend 9 hours in my office. those days, i need to get up. take a walk during lunch.
  • get back to using my loseit app. i really only document the exercise because that's what i'm proud of. but i did my best at staying within my calorie limit when i used that thing daily.

and now, i leave you with this hilarious cartoon. thankfully, none of us are at this point, but you should laugh, too.

happy monday everyone.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Check-in

TRUTH: I weigh 220 pounds. Still.

Positive I tell myself: Well, at least you haven't gained any weight.

What that little "mean girl" inside of all of us says: Yeah, well with the ice cream you eat and all the fast food you consume while you're on campus... you should have gained like 20 pounds!

So, what am I going to do? First, I am trying an experiment. I am not going to change my activity level, but simply what I eat. And not even so much what I eat, but where I eat. No fast food for two weeks. If Will and I do go out to eat, it will be a "sit down" place and I will order something on the healthy side. At home, I won't be eating ice cream. For two weeks. (*gasp*) Or frozen yogurt for that matter.

I'm doing this experiment because I want to see if, for me, weight loss is tied more to activity level or food. Maybe I'll find cutting out these foods won't cause me to lose any weight. (That would be incredibly sad!) Maybe I'll find I magically drop 5 (or more?) pounds just by cutting out this krap. I'm not cutting out all "bad" foods, just those ones I seem to eat ALL THE TIME. (I eat fast food a minimum of two days a week lately. It's hard to be on campus and hungry and find healthy foods.)

I start on Monday. Anyone else have a two week challenge they want to take with me?

Friday, October 15, 2010

No Excuses

 Arguments I have with myself...


"I don't have enough time to exercise."

You have a lunch break in which you usually just waste time surfing the internet. You can also take 15 minutes mid-morning and 15 minutes mid-afternoon if you need to (the smokers get breaks, so why can't you go to the gym?). You have a free gym on-location. You have a free locker with a combination to store your shoes and gym clothes. Use those resources.


"I'm too tired."

You think you're tired now? Just wait until the baby is crawling and then walking and you have to chase him around. He's not getting any lighter. Go lift some weights, woman.


"I can't afford to eat right."

That didn't stop you from spending $4.15 on a (fried) chicken biscuit, hash rounds, and a Dr. Pepper this morning in the BK drive-thru. You could have used that money for in-season fruit. Apples, for instance. Quit wasting money on junk.


"I don't have any motivation."

Yes, you do. Feeling good. Being healthy. Getting back into pre-pregnancy clothes, or at least, clothes that make you feel like you aren't wearing a tent. Looking good for your husband. Being fit enough to keep up with your son. Plenty of motivation.


I know it's not reasonable to think that I can look like this again... (about 65 pounds ago)


 But not impossible that I can get back down to this... (about 40 pounds ago and the time I felt most comfortable with my body)

Heck...I'd settle for 20 pounds at this point and think 30 is do-able, even though I know it may take me 6 months to a year to do it. So, my goal is to go to the gym THREE days a week for thirty minutes a pop, starting out. I can divide it up if I need to, going 15 minutes here, 15 minutes there, so long as I get 90 minutes of activity per week. I plan on walking the treadmill for 15 minutes at a time, on an incline and at least 3 miles per hour (more, if I can handle it). I will also do the weight machines: arms, legs, core.Eventually, I'll move up and intensify.

So, the first thing I need to do to get started on Monday is to pack a gym bag. Then set my Outlook Calendar to pop up around mid-morning as a reminder. If I have to wait a bit, I will snooze and not turn off the reminder. I will have water on-hand. Yes, I will do this.

Please keep me accountable.

In a few days, I may come back and post about a "diet" (not really a diet, but more of a new way of eating and exercise where you consume most of your calories in the morning and work them off before afternoon) I read about in All You Magazine. I think it may be something to try out.

Monday, October 11, 2010

slight update (that turned into a lot of talking)

i don't even want to think about posting my weight today.

i am fitting into my clothes just fine, i just feel sort of bloated or something. i know, it's not something you were looking forward to reading on monday morning. my apologies.

but seriously. the food i've been eating...
olive garden for dinner, leftovers for a late night snack, road trip food (junk food), and a few meals out. some fast food.
it's been a bad week for eating (she said while snacking on candy corn-- stupid food holidays).

but speaking of food holidays, i have some goals through this holiday season:
  1. make tons of baked goods. then don't eat much. seriously not a problem for me, because to me, the best part is actually *making* them, not eating them. my office will love me.
  2. get into a workout routine. even if it means one day i'll walk a lot while shopping.
  3. stay busy. couch potato-ness is one of the best ways to gain weight over the holidays. if i stay busy, i'm always up and doing things instead of just sitting, which is also a way to lose weight.
also, speaking of working out, i'd thought of some reasons why i'm not working out, and besides having two jobs and finishing my master's, i can't think of a reason. and even with as "busy" as i am, i'm usually in bed before 10. sometimes closer to 9 (like last night). so, if i sleep at 9:30, 8 hours of sleep would mean i can get up, fully rested, at 5:30. so why do i wake up at 6:30? by the end of the day, i'm way too tired to go out to the grocery store, let alone go to the gym. so, why not wake up earlier? i'm not a fan of going to the gym early, although i've done that before, but we DO have a wii. so i could get back on my wii fit routine and do that in the mornings. it's a good start to the day, and i feel good when i do that.

there's some thoughts for you.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Slacker

So here's whats up with me. I am currently in the middle of midterms (in week 6) and trying to eat healthy. It's really hard to plan ahead and also money is really tight for us right now since I still haven't found a job. I plan on applying for some online tonight. (Cross your fingers that Bath & Body Works hires me because it would mean an awesome discount on Christmas gifts, too!) I went on an interview to be a speech coach for a local high school and I'm really excited about that opportunity, so cross your fingers on that, too!

Anyway, on the days I have class I try to arrive soon enough that I can park in a lot that is a fair distance from all my buildings and requires a little more walking in my day. On the days I don't have class, I mostly do homework, clean, and play with Waffles (my dog). So, not a lot of steps are taken. But I have started parking further away from the door at the mall and grocery store when I have to pick something up.

So, basically, I haven't lost any more weight and I haven't gained any. But at least I'm making an effort.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

healthy is hard.

(i forgot to post this yesterday. my apologies. please accept it a day late.)

especially when you're as busy as i am.

i know i don't have kids, but i am working 40+ hours at my main job, teaching two nights at a college (and putting in all the after-hours time for it, too), and finishing my master's. i promise, that's a lot. i don't even have weekends. seriously.

so, how do i stay healthy?
i don't.

well, i try. i am currently doing the "small steps" program. i made that name up. there's no such program. i eat very little, because i don't have time to eat. but i do eat healthy. honest. i add vegetables to every meal when possible, and i walk a lot. just with my job at work, but i don't necessarily need additional walking when i walk miles every day

speaking of, i can't wait for the competition leann brought up. i just hope it's something like counting steps, because i will stomp all of you. (insert evil laugh here)

that's all. i wish i had more today, but as i explained earlier, i just don't have time.

Friday, October 1, 2010

A Contest!

So, it seems we've all lost our steam since we begun this blog. I actually never really had any to begin with so I got to thinking the other day, "What would motivate me to and others to do better?" I started to think about The Biggest Loser and thought that a CONTEST would be the perfect solution. Mind you, I don't think we need to do it in Biggest Loser fashion because what we're about isn't just weight loss (and to be honest, I think they go overboard and Jillian scares me). I think we need to be a little more creative in our thinking. I think we should do something along the lines of whoever changes their lifestyle the most wins the prize. Now, I know that will be hard to judge. But if we put our heads together, maybe we can come up with something. I need your help. Give me your ideas. The winner could get something like a gift card to Old Navy for new clothes or iTunes or a restaurant. I'm willing to donate some money to the prize pool.

Thoughts?