I know, I know--I'm pregnant. It's normal to have body image issues right now. BUT, I had body image issues before I was ever pregnant. As I've mentioned before, I'm 5'3 and was definitely not within my BMI range when I conceived. I hadn't been for about four or five years. I felt most comfortable with my body when I was about 130 pounds back, oh, eight years ago! That may sound big for someone my height, but I have curves and big boobs and just never have really been a skinny girl except for in high school. I have always had a thick waist. My proportions seemed more balanced at 130. I will not say how much I weigh now, obviously, because there's another person inside of me. I will tell you this: I almost weigh as much as my husband does and he's not skinny either. Yikes!
Anyway, back to my point. I looked in the mirror a few days ago as I was undressing and started sobbing at the sight of my hips. I fear they will never go back to the way they were, and they weren't that great to start out with. Lots of flab and stretch marks and they are very pointy now! Where in the world did that come from? I know your body goes through tons of changes when you're with-child, but DANG! I don't just have a big belly anymore...it's starting to move all over. My butt is big, my thighs and hips are big, my calves are even big. I'm just thick all over. I definitely don't ever want to weigh this much if I'm not pregnant. My ankles can't handle it.
Luckily, MK comforted me and said that my body will go back to the way it was after I have the baby. I said, "What if it doesn't? I don't want to be fat!" He said that he needs to lose weight too and we can work on it together. That's a good man, right there.
I H-A-T-E exercise and it's not necessarily because I'm lazy. I just don't get that "I feel great!" euphoria afterward like many of you have talked about; I never have. The times I've gone to the gym have been an excruciating chore for me. It's seriously like pulling teeth to get me to go. I have to make it a routine and even then, there's no guarantee that I will stick with it. And if I'm not seeing results? You can forget it. The one successful time I did have at the gym was right before I met my husband and I didn't see results right away, but I stuck with it because I could feel my muscles start to tone up. I didn't lose weight at first (I think I have a really low metabolism) but for some reason, my drive was better during this time and I kept going. I was eating better too. I actually enjoy weight lifting more than cardio (honestly, I HATE to sweat. And I'm not a primadonna, so I don't know where that came from. That's why I hate summer so much.) and I can't stand doing anything ab-related. Luckily, we have a gym at work and it's free. It's just hard for me to go because I don't want to get all sweaty before work and by the time it's the end of the day, I'm tired and don't really wanna do it. I need motivation, big time.
I know this is just a rambling of sorts, but I don't really have any point to make today. Just wanted to talk about my issues and get them all out there. Are y'all gonna help me when I can start exercising again after the baby comes? :) I don't have a fancy iPhone to track my progress like some of you.
3 comments:
A few things I can advise you about post-pregnancy bodies...
Breasfeeding drops 500 calories per day. USE IT if you can. It doesn't work for all women, but I didn't really realize that until after I was done... If I could go back, I'd cut back on the junk I ate for sure.
At 17 months post baby, everything is normal. EVERYTHING. My body is back to where it was (ya know, with a few extra pounds) and I'm losing weight. I cannot promise you no stretch marks, and I cannot promise that you won't have extra skin here and there, but I can promise you that everything will be "back to normal."
Leann - don't deceive yourself, you are BEAUTIFUL! You look beautiful and exactly what a pregnant woman should look like. You will drop OBSCENE amounts of water weight the day Win comes out and it WILL surprise you. I'm guessing between 20 and 30 pounds will drop right off the day after he's born :)
So - chin up.
PS - I hate exercise too... until I started to get a little strength in my body. Now I'm like superman. Serious. I can squat like a mo-fo and it's only been just over a month!
Hahahahaha! You said "mo-fo." Thank you, Tamara! You made me feel so much better.
i obviously can't pipe in regarding the whole pre/post-pregnancy body... but you bet i'll be there for you after little win is out in the world! you can link our humble little blog to those people in the world who don't have iphones by finding helpful websites or something. or a bb app or SOMEthing :-)
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